Ceilings suspended above, upward is my gaze
Searching for your breath, to know you are with me, are you ever there?
Only an empty space where your voice should exist, why can’t I ever hear you?
And I wonder if you are waiting and watching, hoping for me to speak first
Tumbled seasons fall silently without notice
Leaves us counting passing encounters under our breath
Bottoms fall outwards, avoiding cherry blossom sighs
Chanting rhythms aloft in the distance, finding our way through the mist
Sketches across blank walls, finding who I want to be
Horizons parting Earth from heaven, searching for a way of life to lead
Paths of life, indirect roads, destinations unforeseen
Unable to erase what’s drawn before, continue forward in search of me
Scribbled thoughts without an end
Searching for a release that eases the pain of inner voices
Written words never said
But know that exist all too well
And I drift
Drift between yesterdays and moments not yet sung
Unsteady plateaus that tilt with each step
I grab hold for fear of falling back
Only to fall forward, at the mercy of my own gravitational pull
And I ask
Where do I land?
Steady ground beneath my feet
Or is this constant falling where I’m suppose lie
Wrapped in a blend of comfort and unease
Knowing the only certainty is my own uncertainty
There has to be more
Let me heal
Let me heal and mend broken words and my uneven sighs
Let me heal
I have to try
The faint sound of your voice lures me
Alone, I find myself wading through faceless currents, knee deep
My gaze searching for a ripple of hope, wanting to find you here, waiting
Only to realize that you are still gone, the sound of your memories not ready to release me
Clinging deep inside, forever whispering my name
Redemption holds onto walls, waiting to be seen
Framed black and white photographs, candids deserving view
Currents of soft velvet, looking ahead, unapologetically I drift
No longer fighting the undertow of yesterday’s invisible mist
Guessing life lines through wind storms
The delayed blessings of painful messages lie hidden beneath the sand
Recalling yesterday’s forever, an eternity that ran its course
Never ending darkness eventually turns to light
Standing on platforms after the last train
The scent of falling stars burn my eyes
Karma evens the scales, a jolt returning me back to life
Stir autographed story lines purposely forgotten
.
Fresh ink on old proofed copies, reminders still wet to the touch
Right siding my compass, the magnetic pull forcing a turn
Scattered leaflets fall like confetti, gravity pulls in one direction
Lining streets, cushioning my fall
Cupped ear, I strained to listen
Difficult to hear above the silence
Not an echo of chaos, of life
Just me, engulfed in white space
Afloat, enjoying the peacefulness of the lull
A fleeting reprieve
Stenciled thoughts
Leave little room to go astray
Wandering not encouraged
Standing at the boundary wondering what could have been
Mat Aru Poetry 