Ceilings suspended above, upward is my gaze
Searching for your breath, to know you are with me, are you ever there?
Only an empty space where your voice should exist, why can’t I ever hear you?
And I wonder if you are waiting and watching, hoping for me to speak first
Tumbled seasons fall silently without notice
Leaves us counting passing encounters under our breath
Bottoms fall outwards, avoiding cherry blossom sighs
Chanting rhythms aloft in the distance, finding our way through the mist
Sketches across blank walls, finding who I want to be
Horizons parting Earth from heaven, searching for a way of life to lead
Paths of life, indirect roads, destinations unforeseen
Unable to erase what’s drawn before, continue forward in search of me
Marooned melodies, isolated from truth’s ear
A leap of faith in search of a ledge, wanting the urge to fly
Side doors doubling as escape routes, slipping away unnoticed, dare I go
Followed unseen with each footstep, I hear them close behind
Scribbled thoughts without an end
Searching for a release that eases the pain of inner voices
Written words never said
But know that exist all too well
And I drift
Drift between yesterdays and moments not yet sung
Unsteady plateaus that tilt with each step
I grab hold for fear of falling back
Only to fall forward, at the mercy of my own gravitational pull
And I ask
Where do I land?
Steady ground beneath my feet
Or is this constant falling where I’m suppose lie
Wrapped in a blend of comfort and unease
Knowing the only certainty is my own uncertainty
There has to be more
Let me heal
Let me heal and mend broken words and my uneven sighs
Let me heal
I have to try
Memories watercolored across blue skies, savored views that grow fonder with age
Fragrance’s fingertips fall softly upon rose petals, a concerto that moves with the breeze
Silhouettes dance undetected in the shadows, private celebrations not for public view
Joys of living condensed inside myself, life inhaled then exhaled into the wind
The faint sound of your voice lures me
Alone, I find myself wading through faceless currents, knee deep
My gaze searching for a ripple of hope, wanting to find you here, waiting
Only to realize that you are still gone, the sound of your memories not ready to release me
Clinging deep inside, forever whispering my name
Lead me through the maze of tangents, avoiding aftermaths disguised as sunsets
Where balcony views shine truths about empty chimes
And lessons are found through sunlight piercing through broken doors
Collections of anonymous indifference remains at the side of the road
My father’s voice linger in the wind, beckoning
The smell of fields graze my soul, reminding me I’m not far from home
Window shopping for day dreams
Looking in from afar
Translucent obstructions separating life from reality drift away
Vantage points open up despite closing eyes
Cool breezes awaken my spirit
Hope for tomorrow draws me in
An invitation happily accepted
Redemption holds onto walls, waiting to be seen
Framed black and white photographs, candids deserving view
Currents of soft velvet, looking ahead, unapologetically I drift
No longer fighting the undertow of yesterday’s invisible mist
Mat Aru Poetry 